“Being away from him, or goodbyes every 6-10 days, are the hardest things Ive done”
Many of my friends have always wondered: “how can you do the long distance thing?”– others have wondered and even asked me straight up, if I’m not scared that he will cheat because he’s a professional athlete and he’s away a lot… my thing is TRUST. No trust, no relationship, no matter who you are.
I grew up and live in Miami, he was born, raised, and lives in Palmdale, California and travels for 7 months for baseball…
We are in a long distance cul de sac, and have been for the last two years.
Having worked in baseball, I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew the schedule, the traveling hassle, the psychological aspect of the game, how to cheer him on and how to pick up the pieces which made it easier for us to find a way to make it work. A baseball player, or any pro athlete needs those fundamentals coming from their corner: constant support, dedication to THEIR career, a coach, but most of all a lover… a person that will never fail them.
How I met Jerry was very unorthodox but very 21st century (we facetimed the first day). We were already plagued by the long distance but we knew that finding each other was part of a bigger reason. He knew I knew baseball, I knew he knew how to love me right. Baseball takes a lot from you and its constantly humbling you, but it gave me Jerry and this beautiful life.
(Pause Jerry just called to say good morning…)
In the first stages of our relationship, we have to jump over a lot of hurdles, whether they were personal, professional, or others… but we stuck it out together. This helped shape the rest of our relationship for we both knew we had someone that wouldn’t leave if the currents got strong. Soon after we were approaching the start of his first FULL season, and I got scared. How was his schedule going to affect the amount we spoke, I had a new city to travel to, new friends to make, was he going to be overwhelmed with it all? Was I a distraction?… all these questions ran through my mind faster than Ive ever ran on a treadmill.
Jerry and I, we had an understanding, he knew that for me to do my part and play my role correctly in the book of his life, he needed to understand that he had someone with him now. So we sat down and talked, he knew I needed him to make time for me somehow. So we agreed we would FaceTime every night even for 10 minutes. People take for granted that “how was your day?” question because they see someone everyday, “how was your day?” was the most important question I ask daily. I want to know the little things : what did he eat, who is his roommate on this road trip, what shows is he watching on the firestick, how the game was live (on the days I’m not there), did the umpire make the right call.. why? because it creates the picture in my head, and it makes distance null. If I know these little things, especially the things about the Jerry I know, not the baseball player, then I’m not missing out.
I travel a lot, at least once a month sometimes more, I travel to see him. I have created a work schedule and a lifestyle that thankfully lets me have a flexible schedule so that I can go to the games and the important dates like our anniversary (yes he asked me to officially be his girlfriend during spring training!). When you are a girlfriend, or wife, to someone who has this lifestyle, you have sacrifice a little bit of your own. Whether you relocate, quit a job, put your own career or dreams on hold for bit (you will accomplish them), are left to pick up your entire life after a trade, have to travel constantly, have to miss your friends because you’re stuck on an extra innings game… miles away, the sacrifice is not easy but its worth it. Its the purest form of it, sacrificing something for the sake of the dreams of the person you love. Ladies, you are amazing.
So my tips are:
- travel as often as you can
- talk about life and the future
- video chat as much as you can
- ask for the morning phone call if not call them just to say good morning
- make time
- if you are ever in doubt, TALK. If no solution is offered, then really ponder if someone that’s not willing to meet you halfway is worth it.
- Always know your value and what you bring to the table
- His career is HIS career. YOU met him playing ball (he’s been probably doing it since little league) so we have no option to discuss how he goes about it. I’ve met people who have quit baseball or other things because of a significant other, that to me, is crazy.
- Know he won’t be there for a birthday, Easter, heck, maybe even Valentine’s Day. Its up to you to make it happen. His contract is his contract. Baseball is baseball.
- Love each other unconditionally. Cry when you leave, miss them so much. It makes you and [your relationship] stronger.
I will continue on this as I learn more about this life I am living. But this is part one.
Love and Baseball
C
Claudia Emanuels 